Changes....

I've been a blogger for ladyandtheblog.com and thexcene.com (and a few others here and there) for the past 3ish years and I LOVE it. I love writing and I love meeting awesome peeps at the events I cover. I've gone to Scottsdale and LA to cover events and I love how supportive and close-knit the blogging community is. I've interviewed Kelly Ripa and the cast of Glee, met Jason Lee and more. Blogging is one of my favorite parts of my life. So as of February 7th, I'll be blogging more for ladyandtheblog.com. As opposed to a fun past-time, it's now going to be my job. I'm so excited!!! I love design and don't intend to stop designing but getting to do something I love for a living is the whole reason I went back to FIT. I'm so excited and grateful for this opportunity. As it turns out, I'll be starting right in time for NY Fashion Week so it's going to be really crazy for a bit. NY Fashion Week crazy is like nothing else I've ever experienced. Rushing from show to show and sneaking in food whenever you can, while reviewing lines that have set up shop in the surrounding hotels is really fun. Then, there's the 15 minutes that you sit and watch the show. It makes my heart flutter and renews my faith and love for fashion. It's just so incredible. I can hardly believe that all I'll be doing for the week is going to shows! Blogging has always been a side gig for me. It's just so incredible to be able to do it for a living. 

I'll try posting my write-ups here as much as possible, especially during NY Fashion Week but if I miss any, check out my write-ups at ladyandtheblog.com. 

Sustainable Fashion

For the last few months, I've been working with a higher end womenswear label on their dressline. It has been a great learning experience. I love working with the people there. I've learnt a few things about the fashion I want to produce, though, and that's the direction that my blog is going to take, in the future.

Sustainable fashion is fashion with a conscience. Its about caring where your raw materials come from and trying to reduce the negative effect your product is having on the environment and the industry. I've fallen in love with it.  I need to have purpose in my actions and sustainable fashion allows me to follow my dream of designing while doing good to those around me.

Come join me as I explore it further.

Trip To LA for Ladyandtheblog

Last week, I went to LA on behalf of ladyandtheblog.com to preview the movies "We Bought A Zoo" and "Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked". I had such an amazing time! It felt like a vacation all by myself. Don't we all need those every now and again. Blogging is so much fun for me that it never feels like work. It was so delightful waking up each morning, having breakfast in bed and looking out over a ridiculous view of LA.

I stayed at the Four Seasons and the service was amazing. The first day, we watched We Bought A Zoo, chatted with screenwriter, Aline Brosh McKenna, then went to the hotel for lunch. I loved the movie!! It's a must-see. We had 2 hrs so I threw on my bikini and went to have lunch by the pool. It was a smidget too cold for anything other than the jacuzzi, though.

Then, we saw Alvin and the Chipmunks:Chipwrecked. This one was fun. Its a great kids movie. Alvin never gets old for me. We then had dinner at the hotel. The next morning, we did roundtable discussions with Jason Lee, the actor who plays Dave Seville, Mike Mitchell, the director and Ross Bagdasarian and Janice Karman, the producers. We did a few press activities, like an interview with Alvin, then headed to the airport, back to NY.
It was an amaaaazing trip!! LA has a very fairytale vibe to it and its very interesting compared to NY's hustle.

I got a job!

During the first week of August, I got an email from the Dressline designer at Tahari saying that she was looking for an assistant and I was recommended by 2 women. One woman was the one I interned for in the knitswear team. The other was one that I helped out from time to time. If the knitwear team didn't have stuff for me to do, I'd go by her office area and ask her assistant if she needed help. I honestly didn't even know she noticed me. I was so humbled that she recommended me. So the designer asked me to come in that day. I rushed home, got dressed, grabbed my portfolio and went. The interview went great. She mentioned that she loved my artwork and told me that I came highly recommended. I was, again, amazed that this. So things went great and they kind of offered me the job. We spent a night working out details and I officially accepted the position of assistant designer the next morning at 9am. They asked me to start right away. Like, at 10am. 

It's been a few months and there's been so many changes. The designer that hired me was moved to another team and a new design director was hired after me. Lindsay, the other assistant that was hired the same day as me, and I have been working like there's no tomorrow. We've been in on Saturday. Our average day ends at 7pm. Its been nothing short of insane. Our next collection is due in about a week and the pressure is on. Not only is this Lindsay and my first collection with Tahari but its also the design director's first collection with the company. We're all feeling the pressure. Its been a transition working the way we do now. Usually, there's a design director, a designer and assistant designers. We don't have a designer. So Lindsay and I have been working our duties and supporting the design director as best we can. Most days, we rush around like crazy, inhale lunch at our desks, go home at night with work on our brains, fall asleep and start the same thing next day. Its amazing, though, how Lindsay and I mesh. She's 20. I'm 29. I was a bit nervous about her work ethic, her commitment and her maturity when we first started. Boy, was I over-worrying. She is insanely hard-working. Her perspective on life as a 20 year old is different and is refreshing at times, in comparison to mine. We work so well together. She deals with my crazy like a pro. I'm so crazy about her and don't think I could have done this without her. 

Since we started, we've had to hire interns. This was weird for me because I was an intern, like, yesterday. I was amazed at how people treat internships. One intern came to the interview in jeans and a low cut top. People would email me, I would reply and they wouldn't reply. Linds and I were so hungry for more as interns, we were amazed that everyone isn't like us. We lost one intern already because she thought she could be flexible with her days and she was always late with no reason and had to leave early. She also had a bad attitude. The truth is, interns do grubby stuff sometimes. Linds and I still do grubby stuff. Fashion is not glamourous. You have to love it. She clearly had misguided ideas about interning. She said she felt she plateaued at the company after 3 weeks. Linds and I could not get over that statement. We lucked out with our other intern, though. She is amazeballs. We hired another girl on Friday and she seems very enthusiastic. 

On Friday, we were moved into a temporary office space until a new office is built for us, so we can be with the design director. But I wish that new office never gets finished. We've been put into the conference room and it is amazeballs. We work on a glass table. The lighting is so amazing and one wall is made of glass with a ridic view of Bryant Park. We are obsessed with the new office space and cannot believe our good luck. It makes such a difference working with a view and seeing some green. 

I've also been working 2 jobs. I'm at my old job part-time because I'm entry-level at Tahari and couldn't demand a comfortable salary. I actually agreed to start with less than I was making at my old job. With no fashion experience, though, this is understandable and expected. In order to make ends meet, I work nights and weekends at AHRC. I am past burnt out and don't see how I can do this for another year or so but G-d is good. I try to take Sundays off and rest but every Saturday, I feel the burn out intensely. I miss my friends and my significant other. Sometimes, when I hang out with him, I feel like I should be home, catching up on sleep or spending time with Gangsta or cleaning. I've taken to having my laundry done because I don't have the time. I always wanted to do my own laundry. G-d is good, though. I can't see 2 steps in front of me but He has shown me that He has things worked out for me. I just forget to trust and I worry. 

It's a bit mind-blowing, though, that my dream is coming true. 3 years ago, I was told I wasn't accepted into FIT and I thought that was it for me. Now, I'm working as a part of a design team, making clothes. 

Sometimes, I take a step back and am just amazed by it all.

Never give up on your dreams. It'll come, through hard work and perseverance. 

Its a new day!!!

So I was right. I needed to wallow a bit and now that that's done, I'm moving on. Its action time! I'm working on my schedule to ensure that I at least get half of a day off each week. Its really difficult but I think I really will have a nervous breakdown if I don't take some time out of the week for myself.

Last night, I went to my friend's birthday party and I wanted to share two things about it with you.

1) The Beekman Beer Garden and Beach Club. You must go. If the pretentious club scene isn't your thing, where they refuse you at the door if your boyfriend's shoes aren't completely shoes, then you'll love this place. Firstly, ignore the address on the website and don't bother calling because they never answer. Just go to the South Street Seaport and walk to the water. Make 2 lefts and its right on the water (ignore the sign on the building. Its outdoors, not in the building). One area has sand and seats with bottle service. The other area has benches and games with food and a bar. A bunch of about 30 of us went there for drinks and it was really a ton of fun. The music was fun party music and a good mix of everything. The vibe was just chill. I was afraid that, because it was Saturday, it would be a bit annoying but it was just so nice. The view, of course, is to die for. Its free to get in and drinks and food were reasonably priced. This place is like a little treasure hiding behind the Seaport.

2) Last night, I wore a Forever 21 dress that is inspired by Herve Leger. You know, those skintight bandage dresses. I bought it at the height of winter for $15 and I wore it for the first time last night. Which brings me to my point. Grazing benefits the wardrobe. Shopping out of season for clothes helps you find treasures at lower prices. If you go check out your favorite stores every time a shipment comes in and you have the self control to only buy investment pieces, not trendy items, grazing can stock your wardrobe nicely. Unless you're really good at predicting trends, stay away from the very trendy stuff, off season. Chances are, it'll be old news by the time you can wear it. If you need a nice white shirt, don't wait until its the day before your big interview to shop for one. Graze, try on different ones and the perfect one will find you. Keep it safely in your closet until you need it. It takes the panic out of dressing.

Hope you're having a great summer!

Goodbye, Tahari! Hello, Insanity!

Last Thursday was my last day at Tahari ASL. I loved interning with the knitwear team. I've learnt so much. I'm going to miss them. I applied for two internal jobs while there but both times they needed someone with more experience. It sucked at first but life goes on. I decided to focus on working and tying up lose ends before school starts in August. Its been intense.

Firstly, the advisor for the program told me I shouldn't be working. She warned that the program would be intense. I, frankly, thought I could do it all. Now, I'm not so sure. I've registered for seven classes and I am scared. I need to work full-time to pay my bills and afford school until loans kick in but I also need to go to school full-time or they'll kick me out of the program. Today, it hit me. I checked my schedule and realized that, when I'm not going to school, I'll be working. The rest of the time, I'll be squeezing in homework. At FIT, there is so much homework, it's crazy. Everytime I think about my schedule and my life for the next couple months, I feel a lump in my throat and I feel like crying at the magnitude of what I'm going to be doing. Literally, every minute is accounted for. That means no down-time and no relaxation. You'd think I'd go crazy, right? I think I will. I usually try to be optimistic but sometimes realism sets in. I'm scared. I'm scared that I wouldn't produce A work. I'm scared that I wouldn't learn anything. FIT is not like some other colleges. Its going to benefit me to absorb and make these lessons a part of my life because I'm going to need it in the work-place. I'm scared that I won't get enough of sleep and fuck it all up. That's it. I'm scared I'll fuck it all up and end up without a job and a bunch of Cs. I wonder if its all worth it. I want a career in fashion but interning made me realize I'd have a long way to go before I start designing. Should I attempt to launch my own line right out of college? But they always say learn on someone else's dime, right? I need to learn the systems, build relationships with factories and buyers, etc, which can only be done when I reach head designer status for another company. We're looking at another 10 years before I can even look at my dreams, realistically. That means I'll be 39. I want other things, too. I want to have a baby. I want to have the energy to run around after my child and spend days at the park. I want to have a home that my child can feel at peace in. That I can feel at peace in. Can I do it all and not go insane? Right now, I can afford to prioritize and focus on school and work. My friends will understand and relationships come and go. How long can I realistically do this for?

I'm emotionally exhausted and school hasn't even started. Summer's almost done and the most sun I got was eating lunch in Bryant Park during my internship. Gangsta has felt the grass under her paws once. This is all so overwhelming. I know I need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. I know that these sacrifices are only temporary. I know I'm just having a shitty day and tomorrow, I'll be back to thinking I can conquer the world. I need to. I need to believe that all this is worth it and possible and fun and beautiful. That all I ever wanted to do was design clothes and make people look cute and feel good about themselves. 2 years, in the context of my life, is a really short time. I can do it. I can do it. I CAN DO IT!!!

The present and the future

I've been interviewing for design assistant jobs. Its been a very intense but casual process. I didn't get the first job I applied for because I needed more experience. I understood why. Usually a design assistant works on one line. This job would require me to work on five lines. I wanted the job and was up for the challenge but I suspect the design director was right in choosing to go with someone with more experience. So far, its been nerve-racking but I decided that, if I don't get a job by the end of July, I will go back to school in Fall and take August off to relax and breathe. I've already started seeing job openings that ask for Bachelor's degrees. I've been looking at all sorts of jobs because I don't want to be a design assistant forever. I'm ready to start working and I see that I need to get into the systems and the communications with the factories to get a feel for how things are run. These things aren't taught in school.
While I'm doing that, I've also been blogging for Ladyandtheblog.com and a few others. I'm taking it easy, as much as I can in my life. I still pose for model drawing classes at FIT, which is fun. Its all work, though. Sometimes, I pose in long dresses. Most times, I pose in a tiny black bikini and platform shoes. Its actually pretty hard work, holding a pose for that long. I usually end up stiff after a session. It brings in lunch money, though, so I'm happy to be doing it. I've also stopped eating late at night and my tummy is almost as flat as it used to be, so I don't need to suck it in for the entire session. Whew!
The summer is passing and I'm not taking advantage of the nice weather. I'm in and out of buildings and hardly get to enjoy the warmth. Hopefully, I can get out more and enjoy NY summer, which I love. I went to Capoeira on a boat with AJ a few weeks back. He did capoeira. I ate. Last weekend, I went to Delaware with him and the band to play at a show and then we went to Camden, NJ to play at another one. It was fun. I LOVE being a groupie and screaming my lungs out. I think I know all their songs by heart, now. We got to hang out at the beach after the show in Delaware and spend some time with the family, which was so awesome. Some people just do family well. They just get that what its about is loving, and supporting, and positivity and calm times. It was just great. I loved it.
I'm learning how to let go and move on. Its been quite a year for me but I am so happy with where I am. It seems like everything I believe I can achieve, I do. I feel so blessed to be where I am and I need to keep reminding myself that I tend to look on the past with rose-colored glasses. I'm learning how to move on and validate feelings but let them go.
Here's to the future...... tomorrow, next week, Fall, next year. I can't wait for it all.

Happy 4th of July!!!!!

It is so beautiful in New York today. The sun is shining and I'm happy to be living in America. It's really quite awesome to be here. I love my country, Trinidad, but I don't think I'd be pursuing fashion and interacting with a diverse mix of individuals if I were still in Trinidad. As a disclaimer, I should note that my upbringing is not typical of any country, least of all Trinidad. It is typical of small, developing country Christianity.

Firstly, I'd probably be happy to get any steady job I could land and I would probably have been looking towards having a family and building a house, etc. Instead, I'm enjoying single life in a tiny city apartment with my rabbit with no plans in the next 5 years to settle down, whatever that means. The idea of living in a house is in direct opposition to my clothing budget. I've landed the stable job with awesome benefits and a retirement plan. I'm also getting ready to leave it to start all over in the fickle fashion industry, the sole reason being to pursue my dream of being a fashion designer and having my own line. America is the land of dreams and I love that I get to experience that.

Another major difference between who I would have been in Trinidad as opposed to who I am in America, now? My mind has been blown open by all the diversity in religions, ethnicities, practices, sexual orientations and basic habits. It's been a really intense journey from the fanatical Christian upbringing I had to the open-minded person I am now. I can now say that all I want for my gay besties is for them to find someone they love and that adores them. I don't think they're wrong for loving someone of the same gender. How could loving ever be wrong, if it's not hurting anyone? I no longer think that only a marriage to a Seventh Day Adventist would work for me. I'm so much more than that. In fact, it matters more to me that my partner respects and appreciates all races, genders, etc, equally than for my partner to go to church with me on a particular day. And speaking of partners, it now makes no sense to me to limit my possible life partner to a gender. Why? If our souls are connecting first, why rule out an entire gender just because I'm scared of being labelled gay? I now go to church and cringe when I hear them enthusiastically criticize "the world". I'm now happily a part of that "world". Why? Because I love fashion and if wearing earrings and makeup make me on my way to hell, then where's my ball of fire?

My point isn't to put down my Trinidadian upbringing. It helped shape who I am today. Its America, or rather New York, and its tolerance for all things free and open and loving that has really resonated within me. I feel a sense of peace and absolutely no guilt, for who I am today, something I never thought possible. So today, when everyone is celebrating America's birthday, I am celebrating the opportunities it has offered me. Like most immigrants, I had to work very hard to stay here and I'm still working hard for everything I have. But it's so much fun.

So Happy Birthday, U S of A!!! I absolutely love you!!!

Fashion Show

I'm still in the application process for the job and I'm actually pretty calm about it. I'm finding out Monday if I get the position. I would love it but I've reached a point in life where what is to be mine will come to me. If its not meant to be, it won't happen. If I don't get the job, it'll be because it wasn't meant to be.

So today, I'm heading to Queens for a high school fashion show. I've been trekking to Queens to train over 15 girls, aged 7-15 to walk in the show and organizing the entire show. Its been nothing short of intense. I'm a bit of a control freak. I like things in order way before the date so that I don't stress out about it. Well, nothing is organized about this show. The administrators of the school have not heeded my deadlines and its the day of the show and I haven't even heard the soundtrack that I picked out a few months ago. They run the school so I understand they have other things going on but its insane. The lighting guy isn't coming. The makeup girl might not show up. I've never discussed the looks with Hair and Makeup. When I do things, I like to do it to the best of my ability and this show is not a reflection of the best I can do. I have to keep reminding myself that its about the kids, not a smooth-running show. 

Once they have fun, its a success. Right?!

Having a panic attack....

I have a really big project due tomorrow. I'm applying for a job ( if I get it, I'll post details of where, etc) and I have to design 3 collections for next April to show my skill level, organizational skills, etc. It's been an intense process and I'm handing it in tomorrow. I think I've done my best but what if I didn't interpret the woman I'm designing for well enough? What if the trends I predicted are totally off-course? What if the colors aren't trendy enough? What if the clothes aren't fun? What if no-one would buy them? Oy...all these questions. Best to head to bed and take the day full force tomorrow.